New Normal

It's now just over six months since I had my triple coronary bypass operation and coming up to three months since I was made redundant. In what was already going to be a momentous year for me and the family (Mandy's 60th Birthday, Natasha's Graduation, Our 30th Wedding Anniversary and my own impending 60th Birthday), these two sudden and unexpected events have brought me up short and made me question what I do, how I do it and - critically - why I do it.

Unsurprisingly, it has taken all of these six months to get my head (and my heart) into and around these questions. In many respects, I have been given several gifts - more time, better health, incredible support, counselling and reflective space being just some of them - so I have not felt the need or the impetus to get back to the busy. In slow time, I have tried to shift my thinking from what do I NOT want to do any more (it's quite a long list!) to what really matters to me and what I want my 'New Normal' to be in the time I have left.

 

Truth to tell, having experienced the rest and peace that these six months have afforded me, I can visualise - and would be quite happy to start - retirement. Financially, that's not an option quite yet. But what is emerging looks like an initial 5-year Plan followed by another 20 years which will mostly be about standing on roundabouts, shouting at traffic...

Received wisdom nowadays is that 60 is not a great age to find oneself out of work and looking to find more. But here's where 'Niall's New Normal' has already kicked in; I'm not stressing or worrying myself about it. Life is - literally - too short to do that any more.

Things happen for a reason. Things present themselves when you are open to allowing them to so do. The Universe offers opportunities that you will miss if you're not paying attention, if you're not listening, if you're not present - if you're too busy trying to get back to how things were (and what caused the problem/s in the first place). Letting go and endings are as much a part of moving forward as are shaping futures.

As I have been clarifying my thinking about those futures and how I want to operate, how I feel about 'stuff' and how I think I can be useful, events have opened up which have been relevant and attuned to those thoughts. I have finally caught up with Jamil Quereshi's talk at September's 'LearningLive' conference. Much of what he said resonates strongly for me - particularly about changing thinking to change feeling to change action and how important it is for our lives to have meaning and purpose. I have been able to participate in several other conference, learning and networking events recently, mostly through my Personal Learning Network, professional associations and social media communities, all of which have spoken to me in significant and timely ways of how I can be in #newnormal - and out of these interactions are starting to emerge potential professional opportunities, none of which involve having a full-time, role and salary-defined responsibility, but which could be autonomous, developmental, fun and rewarding. That seems to me to be a good start for now...

Watch this space!

On Friendship

Mandy and I attended a surprise 60th birthday lunch for my best pal in London today. His partner, Clare, had asked me, as his oldest pal, to say a few words.  This is what I said...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm going to start by taking a quick a straw poll... How many of you here today call Michael by his full name - Michael - or by the more familiar, Mike?  (The majority of hands showed up for 'Michael').

So, apart from his sister Ann and my wife Mandy, I think I must be about the only person who calls him Mike. And I claim the right to do so and to continue to do so... because that's what everyone called him when we were at school together in 1970, aged 15, and I also claim the right to say a few words about my oldest - and best - pal...

Mike first came to my attention as a new arrival at our secondary school, the John Neilson High School, in Paisley, in our Third Year (that's Year 9 to you Sassenachs). We were 15. Difficult to miss even then, as he was taller than most of us - not too difficult in my case.  We didn't become pals until he showed up as one of the chorus in our school production of 'Oliver', and I have a very clear picture in my memory of him running (skipping actually, to music) onto the stage as one of a group of 'urchins' and seamlessly scooping up and removing a stool which had been used in the previous scene, without dropping a step or indeed, the stool itself.

I had a small group of friends and Mike fitted right in - bit nerdy, middle-class, musical, drama club and school show focussed - we would hang about in the corridors or the Music Department practice rooms. We also found out he and I shared an interest in steam trains - that made him more than alright in my book.

And Mike made me laugh. We shared the same sense of humour, fuelled by comedians like Eric Morecombe and Tommy Cooper, and as volunteer school librarians, our weekly top up from 'Punch' magazine. Eric Morecomble and Mike gave me the best laughs of my teenage years - you know that laugh that doubles you up, which makes you almost cry with laughter?  I will never forget the costume fitting for school panto - Sinbad - when he and I turned up to the Home Economics Department to try on our respective costumes in the classroom cupboard - I was Tinbad (Sinbad's naughty little brother) and Mike was.... Mrs Sinbad, my Mum! Picture, if you will, Mike at 16 yrs old, 6 ft tall, struggling to get into a dance of the seven veils-type costume, with yashmak and everything...! I was on the floor, weeping with laughter.  He stole the show every night, the perfect panto dame, with that essential incongruity of man-in-a-dress gruffness and campness.

We were in and out of each others houses all the time - our parents approving of each other's friend - and I have fond memories of Mike's Mum and Dad, both now sadly passed away. And again, there's the measure of true friendship; Mike attended my Mum's funeral in Scotland to pay his respects when she passed on 8 years ago, and I was privileged to be able to support Mike, Clare and Matthew at Joyce's funeral last year.

We followed our separate paths when we left school - Mike to the BBC in London and me to Drama College in Edinburgh, but we maintained our friendship over the years, into our working lives and all the other up and down stuff that 'growing up' brings with it. And here we are now - 45 years on. Both older and maybe a little bit wiser. 

 

Isn't it funny tho' how old gets older, the older you get?

It's a delight for Mandy I to be here today to celebrate Mike's 60th Birthday with you all. Please raise your glasses and wish the Birthday Boy a very Happy Birthday!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This stuff matters!